Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
