Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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