You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
