Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
