Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
