The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
