thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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