I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
