Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
