HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize