oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
