help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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