Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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