i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
