I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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