Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
