I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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