please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
