Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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