I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
