Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
