Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
