i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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