i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
