4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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