Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
