The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize