btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
