Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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