I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
