I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
