it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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