goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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