So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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