She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
