So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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