plz talk dirty to me
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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