dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
