Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize