Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
