even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
