when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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