Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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