Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
