Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
