he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
