No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
