All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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