My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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