That's intense
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
