no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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