we're blogging at a bar
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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