garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
