If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
