I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
