It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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