And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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