I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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