Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
