i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Holy shit dude........stairs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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