i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
