i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
